Spring Update: Still Single

While I was MIA on the blog for a while, I definitely had some fun this winter! As I previously said, I was ready to have some single mid-20’s fun, but my first prospect didn’t work out……

When I returned home from my date that Wednesday night, I (obviously) poured myself another glass of wine — we all know I needed it! And the tipsy swiping began. Bumble was fun when I was looking for a casual hook up. Because the women control the conversations, it was so fun to message guys first! I love being able to set the tone of a conversation and use silly intro lines. I matched with a messaged someone decent looking on Bumble, totally unsure what I was getting into. Minutes later, the conversation had taken a erotic turn.. and I wasn’t mad about it! I still cannot believe it happened, but it did and it was great. Unfortunately, this guy lived a bit away so I wrote him off and didn’t think twice about him. He, however, messaged me a few days later and I was definitely interested in seeing him in person. Over the next few months, we met up a few times for some fun. We had great chemistry and conversation each time we saw each other – at one point we considered turning our casual relationship into a real one.

Unfortunately, after a while, it wasn’t fun anymore. We were SnapChat friends and he felt the need to send unsolicited pictures of *himself* – repeatedly. Even after being asked multiple times to stop. I felt beyond disrespected. The relationship ended there after a heated conversation about respect.

Why do guys think it’s acceptable and appropriate to treat a woman this way? If that’s what you’re into and it’s mutual, great. But after I asked him to stop (twice) and I continued to receive more than 5 more pictures, that’s borderline harassment in my opinion. I’m all for casual relationships, but respect is key or it doesn’t work. This guy earned my respect and trust and then completely broke it because he thought so much of himself and so little of me. Funny thing is, as soon as I related his behavior to his younger sisters, he completely retreated. It felt like he saw me as a sex toy rather than an actual human being. Ladies, you deserve more!

So yet again, we’re onto the next one! As the summer began, I decided to start seriously dating again. I’m back on Bumble and Hinge on the hunt for a man!

XO, A 20-something single gal

 

To Hello Fresh or Not to Hello Fresh

I hate grocery shopping. I hate cooking. I hate doing the dishes. Solution? Meal delivery service. I decided to give Hello Fresh a try in an attempt to eat healthier and to eat actual food rather than frozen pizza, Kraft Shapes Mac N’ Cheese, and Lean Cuisines.

While I still have to do the dishes (so many dishes, actually…) I quite like it. I subscribe to the “Classic Plan”, so I receive 3 meals per week. Each meal is supposed to feed 2-4 people, so since it’s just me each meal gives me enough food for 4 lunch and dinners. SCORE! Hello Fresh allows you to “skip” weeks of delivery however often. Because 3 meals per week is a lot for 1 person, I usually skip every other week and stretch the meals across 2 weeks. Another great part of Hello Fresh is that each meal only takes about 30-45 minutes to make, which is nice after working a long day.

Hello Fresh sends you a recipe, the exact amount of food, and a detailed instruction card in each box. The food is sent on a dry ice-like gel ice pack so you don’t need to be home when delivered. I actually have all packages sent to my closest UPS Store and the food has been completely safe for hours. The wrappings and the box itself are almost all recyclable so no need to feel guilty for all of the packaging!

TIP: Download the Hello Fresh app! All recipes are loaded with step-by-step instructions, built-in timers, and high-quality pictures.

If you have yet to try Hello Fresh and would like to give it a go, send me a message for a promo code for $40 off your first box! Obvs not sponsored because I’m just a regular gal with a small blog who would love to get $20 off her own box if you use my promo code. Ya know?

XO, A 20-something gal

Casual Relationships

A few days into my online dating experience, I realized that I am a hot 25-year-old single girl who has not had her “needs” met for almost a year. Shocking, I know! I’m a very reserved person and have never slept with a guy I wasn’t dating. However, desperate times call for desperate measures! Plus, I secretly hoped my life would become like the movie, “Friends with Benefits.” I had a whole new perspective when I was swipping on Tinder… I was only reading bios to see if it said “looking for casual” and looking at attractiveness. What a game changer!!! I received so, so many more messages from guys and would reply faster, late at night, and with a flirtatious vibe.

One late Wednesday night I was swiping on Tinder and matched with a relatively attractive 26-year-old. He messaged almost immediately with something general. We sent a few messages about TV shows, but then the conversation turned. He asked what I was looking for and I decided to be very honest — casual but wouldn’t hate if it turned serious. It was 11:00PM and he asked me to come over. Little did he know, I was laying in bed with make-up off, no bra, PJ’s and showered. HA! We made a plan to meet for drinks the next evening and see what happens.

Keep in mind, I haven’t been on a date of any form in a hot minute, so I was nervous. I arrived at the restaurant a few minutes (fashionably) late and knew immediately that he would not be taking me home after drinks. Negative point for him. When we sat, the conversation started and it was fine – typical first date conversation. The waitress came and I ordered a glass of wine… because we decided to meet for drinks and it’s a date… and he ordered lemonade. LEMONADE. He told me he doesn’t drink during the week because his employees often call late at night (he owns a business). OK, getting drunk during the week is one thing, but not having one drink on a date? Another negative point for him already.

The awkward first date conversation continues. And it’s horrible. But manageable. Then, the waitress comes back with an appetizer tray of food that my date apparently ordered. He says, “I ordered a tuna cracker appetizer if you like tuna.” In all honestly, I absolutely hate the smell and taste of tuna. So half a glass of wine in I said, “I hate tuna, no thanks. I don’t eat food my cats eat.” *face palm*.  He continues to eat the tuna crackers and the cracker flakes all over the table and his shirt with every bite. I cringe and look away. Every. Time.

More horrible and awkward conversations about animals, high school, his business, blah blah. I didn’t order another glass of wine because I knew I wasn’t going home with him so felt bad making him pay. UGH. When the waitress brings the bill, he doesn’t touch it for another 30 minutes. Meanwhile, I’m thinking about the leftover pizza I have waiting for me at home. He casually tries to get me to go home with him but accepts the rejection. He shakes my hand and we part ways. I finally look at my phone when I get in my car and realize the date lasted 2.5 hours…. 2 hours too long.

While this date was ROUGH and awkward, I’m proud of myself for getting back out there. Onto the next one!

XO, A 20-something single gal

The Wonderful World of Online Dating

The wonderful, scary world of online dating  – Tinder, Bumble, Hinge… oh my! Online dating can be extremely daunting, but over the past few weeks I’ve decided to grab online dating by the balls and dive in deep! LOL.

I started by downloading an app a friend recommended, Hinge. Hinge is a bit classier than Tinder or Bumble (in my opinion) and I really like the format. For those of you who don’t know Hinge, you enter your preferences (has kids/wants kids/no kids; drink occasionally/never drink; smoke/don’t smoke; etc.), upload some pictures, and answer silly questions, such as “story I won’t tell me grandma” or “2 truth and a lie”. To like someone else, you can “like” a photo or an answer, and they can “like” you back or X you. When someone “likes” you back, a conversation thread is started. It seems that most guys on this site are looking for a long-term relationship / something more than a hook-up. To be honest, I haven’t really had much luck! I’m talked to a few guys but they did not take the initiative to ask me out. Eventually one of us stops responding. That’s OK – onto the next one!

Next, I tried the most popular app, Tinder. Now, I used Tinder last summer so was relatively familiar with it. I updated my pictures and started swiping! As I flipped through the first few days, I really was only looking for boys that I could see myself in a long-term relationship with. I really only swiped right for guys who took the time to fill out a bio (even though I left mine blank…) and had more than 2 pictures. I never messaged a boy first. So, you can imagine that I had quite a few matches but not many conversations.

I also downloaded Bumble on the same day that I downloaded Tinder. I had never used Bumble and didn’t know too much about it. Boy oh boy, do I love Bumble! On Bumble, once a match is made the girl has 24 hours to message the boy, then he has 24 hours to respond. If a conversation isn’t started in those 24 hours, the match is gone. It is SO fun choosing which boys to message and what to say! It was a little intimidating at first, don’t get me wrong, but after a sending a few messages it became a game. I was addicted! I sent 10-15 messages at a time and had so much fun talking with different people – it was nice to have a connection with someone, even if they were a random stranger! Some conversations continued, some fizzled out, and some boys never responded!

When I first downloaded all of these apps, I had the mindset of a boy whom I could see myself dating. I was careful with who I swiped right for because I hate swiping right then regretting it when they message me. As the week went on, though, I started thinking about how I had “needs”…. and how those “needs” had not been met for a while…

Stay tuned to hear about my online dating adventures!

XO, A 20-something single gal

 

Married Friends.. UGH.

Warning: Vent Post

Believe me when I say… ALL of my friends are married or basically married. ALL OF THEM. At least, the ones that live in the same city as me. It can be great, and it can be frustrating, and it can be lonely.

Last Friday night, I went out with a girlfriend after work to do some Christmas shopping and grab dinner. Little did I know, my 3 best friends and their husbands went out to dinner and bowling. I wasn’t invited, and I found out about it on Instagram later that evening. My heart was broken a little.  While I wouldn’t have necessarily wanted to go or could have gone if I would have been invited, I simply wasn’t even invited. And why wasn’t I invited? Because I’m not married.

The next day, I texted one of the girls to see if her and her hubby wanted go out that Saturday evening. She said she was going to another couple’s house for dinner, and that I should come! My friend was a little naive but I understood what the dinner was – it was a couples dinner party. She insisted that I go, even though I said “no” a few times. I turned it down eventually but told her to call me if they ended up going downtown. They did not go downtown because 2 other couples were there. It was a couples dinner party. I stayed home alone that night drinking wine with my cats. Whoop whoop!

It can be lonely being single for this exact reason, especially at 25-30, when it seems like everyone you know is getting married and you feel somehow left behind. I want to express my frustrations to my married friends, but they would never understand. To them, they’re not purposefully excluding me… and they wouldn’t be able to imagine why I’m mad/frustrated/hurt.

Sorry for the vent post, but I imagine there are a few of you out there who are feeling the same way. SINGLE GALS, UNITE! Stay tuned for a great story of how I spent that Saturday night and my plan to meet some single gal pals in the city.

XO, a 20-something single gal

Not Your Mother’s Rules

My only other single gal pal has been hounding me to read this book almost every day this week, but I’m too cheap to buy it and kept putting it off. On my oh-so-exciting Saturday night I started listening to the borrowed audiobook and immediately was mesmerized and in awe by the truth of the book.

I’ve read dating/relationship books in the past, so I was really unsure why I needed to listen to yet another book, but she was insistent. Since breaking up with my boyfriend of almost 4 years about 2 years ago, I felt like a strong independent woman who did not need to follow traditional dating rules. Why couldn’t I tell a boy that I like him – I viewed it as getting what I wanted. Why couldn’t I message a boy back a few minutes after he messaged me – I wanted him to know I cared. I thought I was being a cool, modern girl, because we live in modern times. Unfortunately, none of those techniques worked out for me, and I wound up with a boy who ended up “ghosting” me after months of back and forth chatting (cue eye rolls) – oh, and I had to be in a wedding with him 2 months later. But that’s a story for another post!

Not Your Mother’s Rules: The New Secrets for Dating is a book written by mothers, with some advice from daughters about modern dating. How and when to respond to a text message, what to post on your Facebook wall, what to wear on a first date – anything you can imagine that a modern dating guide would include. Essentially, the book suggests that a woman should be chased and wanted by a man, and I could not totally agree more. If a man is interested, he will take the time to seek you out. This book essentially puts a modern twist on “old school” dating rules. I can officially say that I am a RULES girl!

To all you other single ladies out there, take some time and read or listen to this book. It might be hard to hear (because it was for me…) but in the end I walked away with valuable advice. Are there other RULES girls reading? What were some of your take-aways from the book?

XO, A 20-something single gal

Update: Not Much Has Changed

I started this blog over a year ago when I was feeling down and in a slump of life and relationships. Fast forward to now and I’m in a similar situation – another new city, single, and another year older with more married friends.

I’m spending this lovely Saturday night at home alone with pink eye (the joys of working with kids), a bottle of wine, my 2 cats, and a Christmas puzzle. Could I get any more sad and lonely?! Believe it or not, I actually enjoy nights like this, but I am missing the perks of dating and relationships.

I also miss having a hobby. So, I’m starting this blog to challenge myself to explore and enjoy the single life in an exciting new city! Stay tuned for my “deep” thoughts and single adventures.

XO, A 20-something single gal

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How To Be Single

Who made this movie? I’m not sure how or why, but it pin-pointed many of my deeply hidden feelings about the single life. I like to think of myself as a very independent person. I love alone time – especially when it lasts for the entire weekend. I hate talking on the phone. When I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 years, I thought, “You can do this. You’re an independent woman who can cook, clean, build Ikea furniture, and be alone.” I felt happy. I threw myself into my work and felt like I was moving on, like I was happy. Some days were better than others, and I surprised many of my friends and family with how great I was doing. Until I watched this damn movie. Being single makes me sad, yet so empowered at the same time. I’m in limbo between grieving and missing my ex and being ready to date.

” The thing about being single is – you should cherish it. Because in a week or a lifetime of being alone, you may only get one moment. One moment when you’re not tied up in a relationship with anyone – a parent, a pet, a sibling, a friend. One moment when you stand on your own. Really truly single. And then it’s gone.”  –How To Be Single

Well, as a new graduate, resident of a new city, 24, and newly single, I’m going to cherish being single and embark on an adventure of going to events alone, joining classes, completing handy work, and finding out if true happiness involves being alone- my single adventure.

XO, A 20-something single gal

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